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Monday, October 12th, 2009
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Yeah. Not sure what happened to all of that feeling that came up in the past few weeks, but it's apparently over now. The feeling, anyway. The chance is still there, as is the spark, but the feeling is definitely gone. So now it's down to making the point clear and hammering away at her defenses to find the vein and what it is that's going to make her tick the way I want her to tick. We'll see what kind of masterwork is lying beneath the surface when I'm done. Hopefully I won't break anything in the process.
On a side note, I've had more conversations about Sarah Lewis neé Clark in the past two weeks than I've had about her in the past five years. It's getting annoying. I don't really need or want such reminders of poor choices made on all sides and all around. I have enough of those, thank you very much. I don't need help finding more.
Anyway, some of you may know (and some may not know) that I'm flying to Chicago on Wednesday. It's all very exciting and I am looking forwad to this trip. I think it will be awesome. No women are directly involved so it's even better! Sheesh. I'll be seeing Soulfly w/ Cattle Decapitation and Prong on Thursday and then the mighty Mastodon co-headlining with the one and only DETHKLOK. Converge and High On Fire provide support for that one. I am amped as shit to see that damn show. But yeah, I'll be catching up with two awesome motherfuckers, Andrew Schulke and Mike Schmitt! Schmitt is going to meet me at the airport in Chitown on Wednesday and I'll chill with him for the day, Schulke will grab me the next day for the Soulfly show and then I'll crash his place in Kenosha, WI, go back to Chitown on Friday and/or Saturday and chill there with Schmitt until such time that it becomes Sunday, the day of MastoKlok. After that show I have pretty much the day to myself in Chicago because my flight leaves at 8:30PM local time. I'll be back on the east coast at 11:40PM when my plane lands on the 19th, but I imagine that doesn't rightly count since I'm only back for 20 minutes of said day.
We'll see what else happens, but this trip is going to be pretty cool. My regular methods of operation are going on the back burner and I'm going to see what life is like once again. Time to live it up! I'll see ya'll motherfuckers when I'm back. Take care!
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- Accident, my fault. Car might not be worth fixing. Still drives, but the rear driver side door is FUBAR. For reals.
+ At least the gentleman whose car I ruined realized that I was seriously mortified that the thing could have been worse and decided to not fo further.
- Still, I really didn't need another citation on my record. Especially not right now. At least it's merely Failure To Obey a Traffic Signal
- (Yes, the same citation I dodged when I got pulled and towed about sixc months previous. Goddamnit. At least this time I deserve it.)
+ And yet, despite all of that, Trisha came through and made sure that we all made it to the Mayhem Festival.
+ And we made it EARLY. That's two years running that I've made it for every band. All right!
+ Every band I wanted to see was goddamned amazing. From Whitechapel and Behemoth and all the way up to Marilyn Manson himself, that was a flawless show.
+ New to me camera, an Olympus Stylus 1030 SW, Retail: $350. Good catch, Al. And thanks!
+ SLAYER!!!!!!!!!! Also, Behemoth! Job For A Cowboy! MANSON!
+ Might have a deal on a 97 Volvo 850 wagon. If it works out, it could be an unbeatable deal.
So, uhh, anyone else still alivem on LiveJournal? I might update this a bit more, Facebook is getting a bit intense lately. We'll see what happens.
I do miss ya'll though. Seriously. I do check in here a lot so it's not like I'm missing any posts (you're a sstrange but awesome person jenlight, just wanted to get that out there, dragonflies rule), but I don't comment much so it's kind of a moot point. I do keep up though, don't you worry your pretty little lovely heads off now.
-Dan
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Public Notice:
So I'm now on Facebook. Should you be so interested as to find me there then you can figure out how to do that yourself. I've added most of you as it is. I think I'll be posting there more than here for a while since that's already what's happening. I'm not abandoning LiveJournal, not by far. But I think the breakdown will be that this LJ will be friends-only stuff, the Facebook will be a public face, and the MySpace is still that weird social netoworking site that is also quite useful for non-Facebook having people.
Have at it. We now return you to your regularly scheduled nothing else, already not in progress.
-DanÆ
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Saturday, March 14th, 2009
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I was juuuuuuuuuuuuust getting comfortable with life again and had one of the coolest days in recent memory (thanks to Jenny Roush, Johnny P., Velvet Code & Hollow Boy & Mindless Self Indulgence, and Danielle Corson for that) and had JUST commented on MySpace that I was having the time of my life.
And then we do a little flashback action: http://sansself.livejournal.com/291909.html. And now we try to learn from our inactions.
One car window, one car stereo, replaceable. My ability to ever trust anyone again? Gone. Three times in two years? No, I'm not standing for it. I'm not waiting around for it to happen again either. You know? Fuck this shit.
So this is an open call to anyone and everyone: give me suggestions on where to go. I have an open mind and $2000 that says I can get something figured out.
Man, just when I was starting to like my life again, too.
Sidenote: Some people have wondered why I am so vehemently opposed to letting thieves live and breathe in this world. There are very few things that I consider unpardonable offenses. The usual morally reprehensible actions are obvious right out: anything involving children, beating women, domestic violence (of any sort other than punishment for children, which would curtail a lot of things), things like that. Indeed, lock them away... and then kill them. But I would like to add to that list any and all thieves. Whether you're stealing from a corporation, a friend, a parent, a business partner, a store... I don't care. Those who would lie, cheat and steal deserve to not be allowed to waste breath in this world. This is exactly why Staci shouldn't have been surprised when I ex-communicated her from my life after she (stupidly) admitted to getting fired from a job for stealing. One honest turn does not beget another when it comes to that. Seriously, this right here is EXACTLY why I don't trust ANYONE who would do such a thing. Of course, since you never really know who will do such things then I have no choice but to trust no one.
And this is exactly why I need to leave New London. I'd be nice to trust someone again.
-Æ
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Wednesday, January 28th, 2009
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You ever have that one moment when you take stock of everything around you and you finally see a problem clearly for the first time? That happened this weekend. And then has proceeded to beat me over the head with it. So I'm doing something about it. This isn't the 'change' I spoke of in the last post (that is still to come), but it's an even more important step. It's not going to be easy as it involves breaking plans that I made a few months back but it's going to have to be done. My entire circle of friends has been nearly shattered and it can all be traced to one person in particular. Now I'm not sure if I'm cutting out the right one but we'll try this until I get a better idea. Life was simpler when my friends were an angry dragon (plus baby water cow) and an emotionally shuttered human sweater.
So this how someone breaks up with someone they weren't dating. I did wonder how that worked. I guess this is the answer, and all it took was pissing off two of three important other friends in less than 24 hours, thus causing me to have to get phone calls and messages and shit. If I have to arrange plans such that two people cannot even see each other without sparks flying, that's an issue. When that same friend cannot be in the presence of two of them, though, it's no longer an issue because that friend is cut out.
Bye bye. We now resume regular posting. Maybe.
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Tuesday, December 23rd, 2008
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( End Year Survey Wrap-up Thing: )
So, 2008.
I'm just glad to see it go away. Although there were some prime events this year (NYC x2, VaB, Halloween, Birthday Parties, Sex Toy Parties, Snowstorm Parties, An Acoustic Christmas), those events cannot make me forget that this year was boring more than anything else. You look at the above list and go "BORING?!" but I mean it more towards my personality. I'm trying to better myself and so far I've made some improvements... but not enough for anyone other than me to see them. I guess I only need to impress myself, but one can hope to make a lasting impression on others... right? I did manage to see something different in a few people and even approach new ones at random, but all in all I'm still right where I was at this time last year. While this isn't a terrible place to be (hey, I'm still employed), I'd like to do something else with my life. I need some change. I think I know what needs to be done first and foremost... and on January 1st, I'm going to do it. Don't worry, you'll see what it is and it may shock some of you... most of all me. But it needs to happen.
2009 is a year of change. It fucking well better be.
Next week: Top Ten CDs of 2008 + Honorable Mentions + Live shows!
-Dan
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Monday, December 15th, 2008
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DECEMBER 13TH
MUDVAYNE w/ 10 Years & Snot
Worcester, MA @ The Palladium
We should just call this the massive throwback tour. Every band that played relied heavily on older material and only one band had any excuse for doing so. Mudvayne has a brand new album and tour, both called The New Game... yet they played exactly one song from said album, three from the previous album, and a boatload from the first two releases. 10 Years did the best at supporting their newest release, playing about half new songs and half older songs. That's not a bad balance at all, really, but when you play a song from a release that a very small percentage of your fanbase has access to then you might as well say fuck you to your newer fans. Snot at least has an excuse for only playing one new song since they've been disbanded for ten years following the tragic death of former frontman James Lynn Strait.
Anyway.
Snot played first and got a huge response from the crowd. Most of the crowd seemed pretty familiar with the band, thankfully, so the band ate it up and was way into it. New frontman Tommy Cummings (also Tommy Vext, formerly of Divine Heresy) is frantic onstage, delivering a presence that reminds me of all the bands I used to love to watch and listen to back when Snot came out the first time. It's like they just picked up where they left off as best they could, and it shows that the whole band is loving this second lease on Snot's life. From the opening sample from the Get Some ("Say something for the record, tell the people how you feel!" "Man, fuck the record! And fuck the people!") album straight down to the new song and closing with "Absent", it was a blast to see and hear Snot live and in person.
After their set I spoke with Tommy for a bit at their merch booth and told him about seeing him with Divine Heresy in Hartford. He told me that he'd tried to call Brain Fair (Shadow's Fall, vocals) since he lives in Massachussetts to get him to come down and hang out, but he was actually in Wallingford, CT, on tour with Avenged Sevenfold and Shinedown. Ironically enough I had a few friends at that show, but I had to see Snot, goddamnit. Then I told Tommy that while he could never fill James's shoes, he did a damn good job up there. His response: "I'm just trying to give people the show that James would have given them and I hope that people can respect that." I told him that he delivered on that 100% and he was "honored and flattered." So fucking cool. I also talked to Tumor (bass, a.k.a. John Fahnestock, also of Amen, Lo-Pro and now Noise Within) for a bit and he was psyched as hell to be back out with Snot and Shannon Larkin (see also Amen, Godsmack). I also told Tumor that I can't wait to see Noise Within play live and he was shocked that I knew who they were and thanked me as well. Such a down to earth band, very cool guys as well as musicians.
10 Years played next and, as I said, played about a 50/50 setlist. They did play a handful of new songs first before finally playing an older song, and it was an odd choice from The Autumn Effect: "Paralyzing Kings." A very strange choice. Then again, their whole set was weird. It was like they didn't know what songs to play so they just picked a few at random, made sure to include "Beautiful" and "Wasteland", added in "R.E.S.T." from Killing All That Holds You, and then walked out on stage. Very odd. It's also woth noting that the band as a whole doesn't have a lot of stage presence (read as: any). It's only by the virtue of frontman Jesse Hasek that they have anything going for them. His voice is a wonder to behold in the live setting. His range is ENORMOUS and to hear him do it live is stunning. Their set was satisfying in a strange way but they really need to rethink their setlist next time around. Following Snot is tough for anyone and the songs chosen made everyone lethargic and bored. Sorry guys.
Mudvayne came out swinging but something weird happened. Look down:
Not Falling (The End Of All Things To Come)
Silenced (The End Of All Things To Come)
Death Blooms (L.D. 50)
-1 (L.D. 50)
Fall Into Sleep (Lost and Found)
Do What You Do (The New Game)
Cradle (L.D. 50)
World So Cold (The End Of All Things To Come)
Nothing To Gein (L.D. 50)
Prod (L.D. 50)
Happy? (Lost and Found)
Dig (L.D. 50)
So this was the first area appearance of The New Game and yet it had ONE song from that album. It had TWO songs from Lost and Found. Three songs from The End Of All Things To Come. And then... wait, is that SIX SONGS FROM L.D. 50? Why yes, yes it is. That's a lot of songs from an album that came out a goddamned long time ago, much less three albums previous. Not to mention that, while "Prod" was an excellent choice to revive and hasn't been a regular setlist song since 2002, the rest of the songs are the same ones Mudvayne has been playing live since forever ago. No other surprises and, most damningly, a severe lack of songs from The New Game makes me have to give Mudvayne a resounding "Meh." Unless they bring some amazing support next time around (like they did this time with Snot) then I won't be purchasing a ticket. The band did nothing I haven't already seen, save for one new song that SUCKS. Not impressed.
Now onto another topic: Why do bitches have to be bitches for no other reason than that they are bitches? I got this twice yesterday. The day was going remarkably smoothly considering who I was working with: Griffin, Paisey and Anna. No drama, no attitude, no bullshit. Then, as Ellen was buying the bank, Anna wigged on her. Ellen was using our out sheet to buy instead of buying blind. Now yes, we're supposed to buy blind... but very few of us ever do since it's pointless if we actually count what we're supposed to count. Anna saw Ellen using our sheet and literally snatched it from her hand. That's a bitch move if I've ever seen one and Ellen called her on it. Wonderful. In the last ten minutes of the day Anna had to go and make it a dramatic thing.
So I went to scheduling to sign out and hand in my keys, a little bit let down that things had to be screwed up at the end of the day. I hand in my keys to Linda behind the desk. Now the last few times I've handed her keys it has taken just a little too long because the key system hates me. I said to her "Sorry I have to cut this one short but I have places to be today." It was a joke and she chuckled. Georgia appears in the office and says "Shut the hell up, Dan." Oh man, I let her have it. "Whoa, what bug crawled up your ass and died!" I yelled mayhaps a bit too loudly and stormed out. Yelled over to Stace to "Tell your woman to fuck off!" and then stormed down the hallway and left angry. In a grand total of fifteen minutes the entire day at work went to shit. Thanks Anna and thanks Georgia for reminding me what bitches are all about. Fucking bitches.
-DanÆ
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Friday, November 21st, 2008
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| Time: | 11:18 am. |
| Mood: | Reflective. | | Music: | VAST- "We Will Meet Again". |
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Yesterday it was reported that a co-worker of mine who'd been at the casino for years had pulled a no-call at work. In his years at the casino he had never done that, ever. He'd been in some sort of catastrophic accident a few years back and still managed to get the docs to make a call about it. So yeah, he'd NEVER no-called. One time was bad enough but things happen. Over slept, phone died, power went out, any number of logical reasons. But two nights passed and no calls were made. That pretty much prepared us for the news. Another co-worker who knew where he lived went to check up on him and yeah, he was gone. So fuckin' sad. All he really had left was his job at the casino. His family had all moved out and moved on. He was a prince of a guy, really. He was tough on first glance but he always had a huge smile for anyone he liked, he never let people be too unhappy around him so he'd cheer'em up (usually with a dirty joke or seven) and he just made the nights go by quickly wherever he was. Seeing as we worked Grave shift, this was a huge boon to us. I'm gonna miss that motherfucker like mad.
But you know what? I have a funny feeling that he'd want people to have a good time about his passing and have a party to celebrate his life instead of being gloomy and depressed about it. Of course, people being who they are, were all depressed and gloomy as shit about it at work. Not that I blame them but it made the night fucking unbearable. I'm trying to keep spirits lifted so my own doesn't get sunk but it just wasn't working last night. Which is irritating that I'm still feeling like shit about it. But oh well. I'm sure that, if the man were still kicking around and flirting with the ladies (and telling off patrons and slot attendants), he'd tell me to have a drink and remember the good times. So for all the long, fucked up nights in slow booths... for all the boring nights made memorable by stories and watching a 70+ man flirt with women a nearly a quarter his age... and for all the times my own dour mood from hating that fucking casino were all melted away with a huge grin and a belly laugh from one old man... here's to the good times.
Let me tip my glass to you, sir. Farewell Brian Dyer.
Related aside: I started writing this last night in Wombi Chip Bank and I just finished it. Seems fitting. I'm going to get my guitar hooked up and see what comes out. Something tells me it's a good idea.
"A Toast For The Honored Dead (Brian's Song)"
CHORUS
"Farewell to my fallen friend
I'll see you again when my own life ends
I wish you luck, you're on your way
So claim ye rewards this solemn day."
Those of us who've not joined you yet
Keep you memory alive, we'll never forget
That enormous smile that lifted us all
Your way with words kept us in your thrall
You did the best with what you had
You'd never let anyone around you stay mad
For kindness we'll celebrate the life you led
So here's a toast for the honored dead
CHORUS
Even though your own time is now past
Your legacy among us will eternally last
It's time for you to move on from here now
We'll be okay, good sir, though I don't know how
Nights will get longer, less friendly, no cheer
But we'll make our own stories now, have no fear
So I tip my glass to a prince whose life was well led
And I raise up this toast for the honored dead
CHORUS
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Monday, November 17th, 2008
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One word!
1. Where is your cell phone?: Charger.
2. Your significant other?: Imaginary. (Stolen from The Lovely Krista.)
3. Your Hair?: Nest.
4. Your Skin?: Gaunt.
5. Your mother?: Unemployed.
6. Your favorite thing?: Music.
7. Your dream last night?: Vague.
8. Your favorite drink?: Unibroue.
9. Your dream/goal?: Musician.
10. The room you’re in?: Home.
11. Your ex?: Insane.
12. Your fear?: This.
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years?: Under.
14. Where were you last night?: SB1.
15. What you’re not?: Thin.
16. Muffins?: Kitty. :(
17. One of your wish list items?: Sex.
18. Where you grew up?: South-ish.
19. The last thing you did?: Chokenap.
20. What are you wearing?: Green.
21. Your TV?: Off.
22. Your pets?: None.
23. Your computer?: Ancient.
24. Your life?: Bland.
25. Your mood?: Same.
26. Missing someone?: Layne. :(
27. Your car?: VOLVO!
28. Something you’re not wearing?: Pants!
29. Favorite Store?: Best.
30. Your summer?: Hatred.
31. Like someone?: Secretly.
32. Your favorite color?: Green. (A certain shade thereof.)
33. When is the last time you laughed?: Work.
34. Last time you cried?: Unknown.
35. Who will respond to this?: Natasha?
36. Whose answers are you anxious to see?: Anyone.
So I'm righteously sick right now. Feels like something is living in my throat and trying to eat me alive. It's doing a ridiculously good job of it, too. I'm really, REALLY trying to not go to the clinic or anywhere else since I'm still uninsured for another 45 days and I don't have the money to go get checked out. Down at the local clinic they only believe my story about being cut off by the idiots at Mohegan Sun once and I burned that earlier this year (trust me, you're all better off not knowing). So I suffer. What the fuck. Looks like I'm calling out tonight, burning a PEA unless I get worse tomorrow. I'm not too happy about that since I'm not going to do anything other than try to sleep and drink water, but after trying to deal with last night in SB1-MB I know I cannot do that again. Last night was pure luck and perseverance. Today would not go well because I don't have the energy to persevere. I barely have the energy to do this, and even this is triggering my chest's lovely newfound ability to spasm worse than an electrocuted emo kid. Goddamn, fucking kill me. I can't do this, but I can't go back into debt for any reason. I'm already hanging on as it is as far as money goes. I can't go back to paying for something long term. I can't do it. I just can't.
I'm finding out what rock bottom feels like. It's not the same but it's close.
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Monday, November 10th, 2008
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Oh dear gods, for me this is definitely one of those questions. Luckily I do make lists of these things for myself from time to time. It might be a shocking list for some considering bands I usually talk about but you have to remember that this is a list of all-time albums, not just the ones I can usually remember to give notice to. It's deep, y0. Oh, and it's VERY long, hence the cut.
( Long List: Top Ten of All Time, with reasons! )
Holy fuck. That took something like five or six hours, a large iced coffee and a shitload of tequila to type out. Whoa. Okay, I'm going to sleep now. Bye.
-Dan
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Tuesday, November 4th, 2008
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If you're a US citizen then you had better be fucking voting today. You all know or can guess who I voted for (show'em your O face, USA), but I don't care who you vote(d) for. Cast your vote or cease any bitching for at least four years. Seriously.
Also, it only took me four years but I'm FINALLY enrolled in the benefits package from the casino.
Lots of other shit happened but it's all inconsequential. For now.
-Dan
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Wednesday, October 29th, 2008
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Title: "The DEA Turns 35 This Week!" (Published on July 1st, 2008... yes I am aware that this is relatively old.)
http://www.lewrockwell.com/orig9/belville1.html
So, the war on drugs has failed to do anything REMOTELY useful.
Hmm.
Just putting that out there. Draw from it what you will.
Legalize the whole shebang, I say. Let the hospitals (and jails, thanks to public intoxication laws that I more or less agree with) sort out the irresponsible fuckheads from the genuine users from the novices from the dealers from the noobs who want to see what it's all about. I just want to be able to try all the psychedelics without fearing retribution or legal consequences. The mind is meant to be expanded, damnit.
-Dan
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Friday, October 24th, 2008
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Go to www.Urbandictionary. com and type in your answer to each question in the search box, then write the best definition it gives you.
1) Your name?: Daniel.
"The lolfarmer who drive the roflwagon and sells roflwaffles to the roflsaurus rex." (YES. NEW NAME FOR THE APOCALYPSE WAGON.)
2) Your age?: 25
"A highly misunderstood number, when in fact it is actually an adjective for fantastic sharks. This word is commonly mispronounced and misinterpreted as a form of measurement; when in actuality it is properly pronounced “Twenteny-Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive”. Much like the captain up on the vessel that was hunting the allusive Jaws. For further information please put the fork in the garbage disposal YES!!! DING!"
3) One of your friends?: Kosta.
"A Greek term for 'the one who sleeps with your woman'." (And that was one of the better ones.)
4) What should you be doing right now?: Pre-gaming for a party.
"Getting drunk or generally intoxicated before a party or social event regardless if there will be alcohol or other substances available at said event."
5) Favorite color?: Green.
"1. adj. noob, unexperienced
2. n. Money
3. n. Weed, Marijuana
4. adj. Good.
5. The Color, Duh."
6) Birthplace?: Fairfield, CA.
"1)Fairfield, CA. the worst place to be stuck in...EVER.
2)Also known as Squarefield.
3)The mystical land of nothing to do."
7) Month of your birthday?: June.
"A versatile word that is numerous in meanings. Originating in Sydney, Australia, and developed by Robbo (the big june), it is used in the phrase to "june out". Since its origination in Sydney, it has spread via BBC to international status. To june out means to alter ones state of mind. It can occur from excessive consumption of alcohol, or when one is perhaps day dreaming in a class at school. It may also be used as a title, where "the big june" means to be one of the greats."
8) Where are you right now?: New London.
"A white trash town in Huron County, Ohio. Known for ninjas, and the eternal struggles between Vampires and Lycans (werewolves)."
(Err, wrong New London.)
9) What did you last eat?: Taquitos.
"Rolled tortilla sandwiches sold at gas stations. A staple of the average hablo's diet. Filled with beef or chicken, they will cause flatulence beyond compare. Pronounced 'tah-quee-toes.'"
10) What is your nick name?: Dan.
"A man of unusual humor, consistently finding strange, and lewd comments amusing and/or entertaining in a way as to prevoke violent and uncontrolled outbursts of laughter."
Anyway, couple of things of note:
ADO last night. Chilled with Stace for a while, came home, discovered that Growlanser: Heritage of War sucks donkey balls, went to sleep discouraged.
Sevendust/Taproot show was decent. Dear Enemy was probably the most energetic band there. Taproot was very good despite technical difficulties and being out one drummer/backing vocalist (they have a fill-in drummer but he doesn't sing). Sevendust... well, let's just say that it pains me when bands get comfortable and follow ye olde "release a new album but only play one song" trend. Goddamnit. Boot out some older songs and mix it up at bit! But hey, seeing Krista and Sara Bruno and ChenJen is always a good time. Also, Maria went with me. Bonus.
Highrides are high times, dear friends.
Southington is WAY THE FUCK OUT THERE.
Tonight: Jenny's birthday/toy party. I guess I'm required to be there. WTF.
Tomorrow: Jenn Dunn driving lesson mixed with Margaritaville. Hrm.
Sunday: Recover in time to restart the week.
Next weekend: Halloween party x2. Jen Pandora's on Halloween itself, Amye's the next day (doubles as her birthday party). Not sure about my attendance on that one. My liver can only take so much fucking abuse this month, damnit.
And seriously, that's all there is that's fit to print. If I've not seen or talked to you in a long time then it may be worth it to seek me out. My time is limited these days but I have some points and PEAs dropping so it might be a good idea to get in touch.
-Dan
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Friday, September 26th, 2008
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This was not what I wanted from this idea
Ruined two friendships, nothing gained
I'd hoped to unite two star-crossed souls
But only left your heart wounded and pained
Now I'm assured that you'll hate me
And this time I must agree with your sentence
So I'm leaving this place now
I'll be back sometime later
As soon as I make some sort of repentance
CHORUS
There's no way to heal the wounds left this time
One good idea led to this hopeless conquest
So now I must dissappear and ponder my next move
So I'm vanishing in regret, now maybe you'll rest
I'm not sure exactly when I knew this was wrong
I'm even less sure why it went down in flames
I'm certainly not sure what caused this to happen
I'm only sure that I've been given the blame
Normally I'd shrug it off and just walk away
But this time it's well-placed, I am where it lies
I cannot get far enough from this to make it right
So I'm leaving this place, silencing all the cries
CHORUS
BRIDGE
CHORUS x2
Winamp knows me too well, once again. Songs played while writing this:
Motograter- "No Name"
Finch- "Perfection Through Silence"
Nine Inch Nails- "The Big Come Down"
And one more, posted above, that ties it all together. No one who reads this will get why though. Sigh.
Æ
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Sunday, September 21st, 2008
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(Cross-posted from MySpace, just FYI.)
So this was quite unexpected. Some of you may know that I frequent Denny's in Westbrook on Saturday nights with my good, dear friend Kosta. That's my post-drinking spot, y'know? So last Saturday was different in two ways. First of all, I was certifiably buzzed like a motherfucker driving there, and that's new. Second of all was a waitress I'd not seen there yet. Let it be known that the waitresses there are good looking girls, and this was no exception. But this one was different, this girl actually seemed genuinely nice and pleasant to be around. So, in my still somewhat drunken state, I said to Kosta that "By the end of this night I'm going to get her number." I wanted this damn number. She gave me the perfect in when she seemed to hint that she wanted something alcoholic and I still had vodka left in my car. It doesn't take a genius to make that leap of cognition. She gave me a cup, I spiked it nicely. Then she and I started talking (with a gracious and surprisingly adept assist from Kosta) about various things. I started to get that connection with her. So of course I learned her name in the process. Jordan. Interesting girl, this Jordan. Not my usual type, but she's not the usual girl. Aspiring ESL teacher, well-traveled, intelligent, and interested in talking to me. Whoa there. So, again with Kosta's help, we waited until 6AM to talk to her some more. And then it happened: in a reverse moment, she gave me her number. Now this surprised me greatly and validated my previous feelings. We set tentative plans to meet up on Friday night.
Which was last night. And what do you know, we met up! In a fitting twist of fate we decided to meet up... at Mohegan Sun. So we walked around, I pointed out things of interest, I listened to her talk, she listened to me. Things were going awkwardly because neither of us wants to be at a casino so we decided to split and head over to Norm's. Things got much better from here. With an assist from my sister who showed up (PROTIP: Friends and relatives can make things happen!), conversation flowed and much awesome was had by all. As we walked back to our cars we made plans to potentially meet up soon. And then she surprised me again by saying "Yeah, we'll have to make a date of it." FUCK YES!
So damn. Me and my cynical heart can still get shocked sometimes. I'm trying desperately to remain realistic, or at least stem the huge flow of over optimism, but it's hard. Let's face facts, it's been a long time since I've had any sort of opportunity to try to be charming and charismatic and actually have a ghost of a chance of making it work out. I'm more than a little rusty, after all. "This Store Is Closed" wasn't just a fluke, but I might get to reopen the place. Let's just say I'm mulling over the options.
In closing, one of my favorite song quotes definitely says it all.
"And every single time we think we have all the answers..."
That's every single time we get surprised."
-Dave Wyndorf, Monster Magnet- "Queen Of You"
So that was Friday night, Saturday found me once again at Casa De Phillips eventually, along with Kosta. Beers were had, music was played, ping pong was also played (though not by me, c'mon now). Good times were had by all. What makes this noteworthy is that the one and only Danielle Corson randomly texted me and then came over late as hell so then it was all four of us and it was cool as hell. I left JP3's around 6AM and DFC stayed. Hmm... interesting. Much good times were had by all.
So this was a remarkable weekend. I'm kind of possibly maybe really desperately trying to theoretically convince Ms. Jordan to come out this way this coming weekend. Maybe check out Providence on Friday night? Definitely want to talk to her more. A lot more.
Goddamn optimistic overflow.
Sidenote: I'm tagging this entry with "date" and realized that I've never used that tag here. Wow.
-Æ
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Sunday, September 7th, 2008
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Google is the best thing to happen to the internet. Seriously. It allows you to find anything you might want, which helps when you need lyrics to a song, a video about two girls and a cup, a website with statistics in defense of legalizing marijuana, dirt against corrupt and unethical republican vice presidental candidates who will absolutely destroy your lives, or anything else you can think of. When coupled with Wikipedia (and fact checking things yourself, damnit), Google is a powerful tool.
But they didn't stop there.
Then came the other wondrous facets of Google. They created an image search engine that is GLORIOUS to say the least. They made an email service that puts all others to shame. They made a mapping program that destroys the competition. Their video service rivaled Youtube well enough to overtake and buy out the video media portal. They even have a new browser that should prove interesting as it grows, possibly even upstaging Firefox (I <3 Firefox, by the way) in the near future.
And all of this is free. That alone makes me love Google. Why avoid Google? They're not evil, they're not a gigantic megacorporation designed to rule the world. They seem to be simply set up to make life easier for everyone. If they happen to make a crapload of money in the process then rock the fuck on. They deserve their success and as long as the consumer benefits then I don't see any problem with Google's continued prosperity.
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Sunday, August 24th, 2008
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Go here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/sansself
That's all. I'm way too tired to comment on the following events that have transpired since last time:
-Thrash & Burn Tour (and Motorhead)
-Mayhem Festival (Slipknot/Disturbed etc etc)
-Schulkemania being here
-"Walk Da Plank"
-Work continuing to suck balls
Next time. Two weeks to Carcass. I'm beefing up by listening to a lot of Carcass, Suffocation, Necrophagist, 1349, Beneath The Massacre, and Jimmie's Chicken Shack and HIM. Yeah... exactly.
EDIT:
And now, the Trout Of The Post:
"BonsaiTrout: Don't call transmissions trannies. Please, please don't."
-Dan,
The Mad Banker
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Wednesday, August 13th, 2008
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Okay, let's get some things tucked away here.
RECENTLY: My apartment got a thorough cleaning from Teri. The service wasn't cheap but the results are definitely worth the money. This place looks fantastic now, which is why I'm inviting people over through the next two weeks (at a minimum) to see what this place is really like. Samantha, this is especially for you. Not that I can provide much except for Guitar Heroics and maybe showing you how to get recorded, and alcohol of course. Anyone else, though, is welcome to drop by. Just let me know and remember that I normally have Friday-Saturday nights off but I can adjust my waking schedule by degrees as needed. I'm serious about this. The more people I have over, the more inspired I'll be to not let the place go to shit again... obviously a big deal to me.
ALSO: To help with that, I have finally assembled THE WALL OF SONIC DEATH (TWoSDeath, pronounced as in "Tues-death"). TWoSDeath is something I've had the tools to create for a while but never had the space/motivation necessary to actualize it. Until now, that is. Now? Let me count the ways:
-On the right side of the room is the 27" TV and the PS2. That's not actually part of TWoSDeath, but it's still important to the 'getting people over here' thing. The PS2 does double as a DVD player so it's got that going as well.
-Next to that setup is the main component of TWoSDeath... the wall of amplifiers. From the bottom up, we have: a Crate B-20 bass amp, a Crate G-212 guitar amplifier and a Fender 25A practice amp. They all have power and they're all insanely loud, even the practice amp. Together it's a force to be reckoned with. I have guitars to power them all. There's the white Samick that's an Ibanez clone (White Night), my black Ibanez Gio guitar (Black Dawn AKA Gimpy, because it has five strings due to a missing bridge piece), my black BC Rich Warlock Bronze Series (Death's Head), and my Ibanez GSR200 four-string bass guitar. One guitar can be setup with my Boss ME-20 multi-effects pedal, one guitar can get my full-course stompbox pedal system (Boss Metal Zone Distortion, Ibanez CF7 Chorus/Flanger, Dunlop Crybaby Wah), and the bass needs no help with destroying your face thanks to the amplifier. I can get a mic going in case we need vocals to appear loudly. It's a thing of beauty, to be sure.
-On the left side of the room is the leaning tower of discs and disc-cases. They are watched over by a gargoyle and my acoustic guitar, a Washburn DS-100. The leaning tower is rather unsightly but it's more for historic purposes than for aesthetic delight... except the gargoyle, he'll eat you. Srsly.
-In front of that is the media center made of OLD and LEGACY equipment. My computer, the grey shitbox of legend, THE DAMNITBOX is the center of the show. It also crashes a lot, but I can't help that at the moment. With well over 21k songs at its disposal it ensures that I listen to a lot of fucking music. Of course it also does videos, some gaming, and lets me do this crap. It does okay for going on six years in my possession (which means six years of serious abuse).
-On top of and to the right of that computer is the other star of the show. Ladies and gentlemen who may remember me back in Virginia Beach, do you remember my stereo system? The big, bulky system with the detached speakers and the non-functional CD changer? Well thanks to a Mr. Matt Lynn, he taught me how to rig it and use it as the auxiliary source of audio for my poor TV & PS2. I have one-upped this and am using it as the sound system for my computer now. It is GLORIOUS. I have some tweaking to do but I now have extremely loud speakers. It only took five years to get them set up. They'd been collecting dust in my closet from when I got here until now. And now... now TWoSDeath has revived them. The stereo system is AT LEAST TEN YEARS OLD, if you can believe it. It hadn't been touched for five years. Now? Now it runs my sound for the room. Thank you Panasonic! Thank you for making durable equipment! Even if your CD player fucking sucks!
TWoSDeath has revitalized me. This is glorious! GLORIOUS!
TONIGHT: Some sort of hanging out with SSU and/or Jenn Dunn with/without her man (and former co-worker) John. It's going to be tough since I could only scoop a two hour nap, but I'll manage. Probably with the aide of coffee, Monster, The Dew, and anything else caffeinated I can get my hands on.
TOMORROW: THE ARRIVAL OF SCHULKETRON 5000. Andrew Schulke arrives in New London. I am hosting a small informal gathering tomorrow sometime after he arrives. I am guessing this means sometime around 8PM (give him time to pull the 3 Ss). I might order food if people chip in but we'll see what happens there.
FRIDAY: THRASH & BURN TOUR! Darkest Hour, Parkway Drive, Emmure, Misery Signals, Winds Of Plague, Stick To Your Guns, Arsis, Light This City, After The Burial, Arsonists Get All The Girls. Oh, and special guests MOTORHEAD.
SATURDAY: MAYHEM FESTIVAL! SLIPKNOT / DISTURBED, Dragonforce, Mastodon, MACHINE HEAD, Five Finger Death Punch, Walls Of Jericho, Airbourne, (mystery band), Underoath, Suicide Silence, Black Tide, 36 Crazyfists, THE ALMIGHTY FUCKING RED CHORD.
SUNDAY: Movie day.
MONDAY: Recording sessions?
TUESDAY: Return to work. Hate life resumes.
That's all for now. We now return you to your regularly scheduled life. Which probably rules.
-Æ
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Saturday, August 9th, 2008
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Black plate armor, blood-splattered with an emblem in the center (see the icon above) that represents my unholy crusade against humanity. Spikes on the heel and a bladed front so my kick would be highly lethal from the front or the back. Gauntlets with serrated blades for similar reasons are a must. The shoulders would be horned and have straps so I could carry my battle axe on my back like a true walking terror. My helmet would be black and flame-scorched on the outside with a single red slash across the face to highlight the eye slits. My sword would have a gold-painted hilt with my emblem on the blade as well as the inscription "When death comes walking may all fear his wrath."
I am Death's Head. Heaven must fall!
EDIT:
"StringentTrout: You should avoid using so many swear words in your next post, there are children on the internet you fuckwad."
Gotta love it, we've gone from SALMON to TROUT. What's next, SEABASS?
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